I cannot believe that my little man is going to be 2 this Friday. On one hand he gets more and more grown up every day. On the other hand, it seems like just yesterday he was learning to crawl. I have very mixed emotions about him turning two. Part of me is very happy and excited. I realize that the older he gets the more he can do. I love watching how smart he is. I love to see how much he is learning, and how quickly he catches on. I look foward to things we can do in the future. Like when he will start to play sports, his first day of school, watching movies together, etc.
Another part of me is very sad and wants time to stand still. It is truly amazing how quickly he has grown up. It baffles me how much children change in their first few years of life. I realize that while he loves hugs, kisses and cuddling with me and daddy now, that will end all to soon. This realization makes me very sad and brings tears to my eyes.
I think that part of my problem is the fact that I don't know if we will be able to have more children. My hashimotos affects fertility, and I am on some medications that I cannot take were I to get pregnant. I really want to have another child someday, but we are not sure yet if that is something that can/should happen. Because the possiblity of another child is not certain to me it makes me cling to every little thing Parker does. I guess it is kind of a good thing! I tell myself that he is the only child I will ever be able to have. So, I try to cherish the simplest things. I know that I should be doing this regardless, but I don't think I would if I knew for sure that I could have another child.
Anyhow, I love my son with all of my heart. He has brought so much joy and laughter to my life. He is a jokester, a genius, and a sweetheart all wrapped up into one. I thank God everyday for giving me the opportunity to raise this precious little boy. Happy 2nd birthday (January 27th) to best child a mother could ever ask for! Parker, you were truly made for me, I love you!
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