I cannot believe that my little man is going to be 2 this Friday. On one hand he gets more and more grown up every day. On the other hand, it seems like just yesterday he was learning to crawl. I have very mixed emotions about him turning two. Part of me is very happy and excited. I realize that the older he gets the more he can do. I love watching how smart he is. I love to see how much he is learning, and how quickly he catches on. I look foward to things we can do in the future. Like when he will start to play sports, his first day of school, watching movies together, etc.
Another part of me is very sad and wants time to stand still. It is truly amazing how quickly he has grown up. It baffles me how much children change in their first few years of life. I realize that while he loves hugs, kisses and cuddling with me and daddy now, that will end all to soon. This realization makes me very sad and brings tears to my eyes.
I think that part of my problem is the fact that I don't know if we will be able to have more children. My hashimotos affects fertility, and I am on some medications that I cannot take were I to get pregnant. I really want to have another child someday, but we are not sure yet if that is something that can/should happen. Because the possiblity of another child is not certain to me it makes me cling to every little thing Parker does. I guess it is kind of a good thing! I tell myself that he is the only child I will ever be able to have. So, I try to cherish the simplest things. I know that I should be doing this regardless, but I don't think I would if I knew for sure that I could have another child.
Anyhow, I love my son with all of my heart. He has brought so much joy and laughter to my life. He is a jokester, a genius, and a sweetheart all wrapped up into one. I thank God everyday for giving me the opportunity to raise this precious little boy. Happy 2nd birthday (January 27th) to best child a mother could ever ask for! Parker, you were truly made for me, I love you!
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Monday, January 16, 2012
Living with Hashimotos Disease sucks!
As some of you may know I have a condition called Hashimoto's Disease (HD). HD is a thyroid condition that causes your immune system to attack your thyroid gland. I was first diagnosed about a year and a half ago. My symptoms were extreme fatigue, anxiety, depression, increased sensitivity to cold, muscle pain and weakness, and extreme weight gain (30 lbs.). I have since found an amazing endocrinologist who has been instrumental in getting me on the correct dosage of medication and making sure that my symptoms are managed. The damn 30lbs. are still here though.
I have been reading a lot lately about how diet can help improve your symptoms in hashimotos, and your hashimotos weight gain. It is hard to work out because I am usually tired. My therapist has recommended yoga. I was really excited about it, so I bought a mat and a set of dvds. I am still excited, but have yet to start.
I have been seeing a therapist because hashimotos has really done a number on me. Many people, my family and myself included, don't have a clue how many things the thyroid controls. Your digestion, temperature, joints, muscles, reproduction, metabolism, and brain all are controlled by the thyroid. When my thyroid stopped working properly so did my brain. I have always been the smart girl. I can't sing, can't dance, don't have a damn talent to my name, but I was smart! After doing so well in my masters program I decided that I was definitely going to get my PhD. Now that my brain has been ruined that dream is gone. I no longer have the memory I used to, and I don't think the way I used to be able to.
I'm not gonna lie, there are days when I cry and get pissed because I am not the me I used to be. Most days I just tell myself that this is just the way it is. I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason. God would not have this happen to me unless there were a reason, so I need to suck it up and deal. Most days I do. Some days, though, it really just sucks!
I have been reading a lot lately about how diet can help improve your symptoms in hashimotos, and your hashimotos weight gain. It is hard to work out because I am usually tired. My therapist has recommended yoga. I was really excited about it, so I bought a mat and a set of dvds. I am still excited, but have yet to start.
I have been seeing a therapist because hashimotos has really done a number on me. Many people, my family and myself included, don't have a clue how many things the thyroid controls. Your digestion, temperature, joints, muscles, reproduction, metabolism, and brain all are controlled by the thyroid. When my thyroid stopped working properly so did my brain. I have always been the smart girl. I can't sing, can't dance, don't have a damn talent to my name, but I was smart! After doing so well in my masters program I decided that I was definitely going to get my PhD. Now that my brain has been ruined that dream is gone. I no longer have the memory I used to, and I don't think the way I used to be able to.
I'm not gonna lie, there are days when I cry and get pissed because I am not the me I used to be. Most days I just tell myself that this is just the way it is. I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason. God would not have this happen to me unless there were a reason, so I need to suck it up and deal. Most days I do. Some days, though, it really just sucks!
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
The Help and Raising Babies
I read the book The Help before the movie ever came out and loved it. I was hesitant to watch the movie because as everyone knows the book is always a million times better. I finally rented and watched the movie today. It got me thinking about how Elizabeth treated her daughter Mae Mobley, and how Abeline tried to make sure that Mae Mobley knew that she was a good person. In turn, it made me think about raising babies in general.
As hard as it is to believe, my little Park Park will be 2 years old on the 27th. With his birthday approaching I have been thinking about how his personality has really come out over the last year. He is such a loving, funny, smart, witty, kind little boy. I really believe that he has become the person he is because of how the adults in his life have treated him thus far. He has me, Lee, my mama, my granny, my aunt Debra, my brother, Lee's mom, and Lee's dad. All of these people interact with Parker on a regular basis. All of these people really love my little man, and are always hugging on him, kissing him, and telling him that they love him. I believe that is why Parker is so loving. He learned how to love others from the love he received from all of us.
He is so funny. He loves to dance, sing and joke around. From the day he was born I used to dance around with him and make up silly songs. I cannot sing, no, really, I CANNOT sing at all, I suck at it. I love to sing though, and I know that kids don't care, so I have always found myself singing to Parker. He now loves music, sings along, and dances like a little fool just like me :).
I know there is a case to be made for nature vs. nurture, but I can't help but see that the way we have treated our son has had a definite impact on the person he is now. It makes me want to be very careful how I speak to him and others. It makes me realize that he mimics everything we do and say. If I want to raise a good person I have to BE a good person.
While I know The Help is just a ficional book, it is filled with many good life lessons. One of which is that you need to be careful how you treat your children. You need to tell your children daily what they mean to you and how they feel about you. Above all, you need to be the example of the person you want your child to become.
Hopefully being a mother will help me grow as a person. Hopefully having this gorgeous little boy looking up to me, knowing he is watching my every move will keep me accountable. If I can't be a better person for me, I pray I can be a better person for him.
As hard as it is to believe, my little Park Park will be 2 years old on the 27th. With his birthday approaching I have been thinking about how his personality has really come out over the last year. He is such a loving, funny, smart, witty, kind little boy. I really believe that he has become the person he is because of how the adults in his life have treated him thus far. He has me, Lee, my mama, my granny, my aunt Debra, my brother, Lee's mom, and Lee's dad. All of these people interact with Parker on a regular basis. All of these people really love my little man, and are always hugging on him, kissing him, and telling him that they love him. I believe that is why Parker is so loving. He learned how to love others from the love he received from all of us.
He is so funny. He loves to dance, sing and joke around. From the day he was born I used to dance around with him and make up silly songs. I cannot sing, no, really, I CANNOT sing at all, I suck at it. I love to sing though, and I know that kids don't care, so I have always found myself singing to Parker. He now loves music, sings along, and dances like a little fool just like me :).
I know there is a case to be made for nature vs. nurture, but I can't help but see that the way we have treated our son has had a definite impact on the person he is now. It makes me want to be very careful how I speak to him and others. It makes me realize that he mimics everything we do and say. If I want to raise a good person I have to BE a good person.
While I know The Help is just a ficional book, it is filled with many good life lessons. One of which is that you need to be careful how you treat your children. You need to tell your children daily what they mean to you and how they feel about you. Above all, you need to be the example of the person you want your child to become.
Hopefully being a mother will help me grow as a person. Hopefully having this gorgeous little boy looking up to me, knowing he is watching my every move will keep me accountable. If I can't be a better person for me, I pray I can be a better person for him.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
My thoughts on a New Year
I have been thinking about starting a blog for a while now, and I figured since we are starting a new year now is as good a time as any. I don't know that there is anyone out there who is interested in reading about my life, but even if no one reads this blog it will be good for me to write it. One of the things that got me started this mornign was an idea I heard on K-LOVE. They suggested that instead of making a New Years resolution people should simply choose one word to focus on for the coming year. I have chosen the word priority.
There are many things in my life that should have been priorites in 2011 but were not. God was not my first priority last year. This year He will be. My family will be my second priority this year. No matter how much work I need to get done I will leave work at a decent hour from now on so that I can go home to my family and enjoy my precious time with them. My health will have to be more of a priority. Whether I like it or not my life has changed forever and I have to learn to live with it. I must rest more, find new ways to get exercise, and adopt a new lifestyle when it comes to food. No matter how much I think it sucks it is now my reality so I need to just suck it up and do it.
Lastly, I will make it a priority to blog. I think that this will be helpful for me, and hopefully it will help put things in perspective.
There are many things in my life that should have been priorites in 2011 but were not. God was not my first priority last year. This year He will be. My family will be my second priority this year. No matter how much work I need to get done I will leave work at a decent hour from now on so that I can go home to my family and enjoy my precious time with them. My health will have to be more of a priority. Whether I like it or not my life has changed forever and I have to learn to live with it. I must rest more, find new ways to get exercise, and adopt a new lifestyle when it comes to food. No matter how much I think it sucks it is now my reality so I need to just suck it up and do it.
Lastly, I will make it a priority to blog. I think that this will be helpful for me, and hopefully it will help put things in perspective.
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