On the Road to Recovery

     I am happy to report that I finally have a diagnosis and am on the road to being normal again!!!  My new endocrinologist was literally a gift from God.  I had many friends praying for me before I went to the appointment.  I prayed every day that she would be the doctor to make me better.  I even submitted a prayer request to K-Love.  When she walked into the exam room, she asked a ton of questions about my medical history and looked at my lab work. She then told me that my thyroid was fine and that all my symptoms were from depression.  I began to argue with her.  My mom stopped me. My mom said "listen to her, she's right."  I began to cry because it all made sense.  My new doctor said "Are you a Christian?"  I whispered yes through my tears.  She told me that nothing is by chance, God has a reason for everything.  She said that I was led to her by God and that the Holy Spirit was working through her to diagnose me. 
      I was diagnosed with hashimotos a year and a half ago.  I have said from day one that I know there is something else wrong with me but the doctors just haven't figured it out yet.  When I left my new doctor's office last Friday I no longer felt that there was something still left undiagnosed.  I have depression.  My first feeling was relief.  Thank God that we finally know what it is. Thank God it is not life threatening.  My next feeling was anger.  Why in the world didn't any of my other doctor's realize this?  Why had it taken so long to get this diagnosed?  My next feeling was sadness.  I just missed out on a year and a half of my life over something as easily treatable as depression.  That sucks!!!
     I went to my primary doctor first thing Monday.  Of course she referred me to the coliseum hospital because they can get you referred to a psychiatrist quicker than a doctor's office.  After talking to the sweet, sweet nurse at the coliseum she informed me that my depression was all chemical.  Basically, I have no major issues in my life causing the depression.  A chemical imbalance in my brain is the cause.  She said that it could be that my post pardem depression could have just lingered and gotten worse, or the hashimotos could have caused depression.  She also said that because the symptoms of hashimoto's and depression are so close to one another it made perfect sense that I never realized it was depression.  That made me feel better! She referred me to a psychiatrist.  Tuesday I was able to get an appointment with the psychiatrist and he doubled the medication I was already on for depression/anxiety.  I go back to see him next week to check on how things are going.  I am not back to the old me yet, but I can tell already that the medication is working.  I don't feel as apathetic about things.  I am not as tired all the time, and I genuinely have more interest in the people in my life.  I am so looking forward to feeling the full effects of my medication and getting back to normal!
     I have to be honest and tell you that I almost decided not to blog about the fact that I was diagnosed with depression.  I don't know why there is such a stupid stigma attached to mental illnesses.  In the end I decided that if I was so open and honest about my other illnesses why not be as open and honest about this one?  Plus I really wanted to share the amazing way that God worked in my life to get me the help I needed.  Miracles happen every day and prayer does work.  I have always believed this, but I love it when I get to witness it first hand.
    Thank you to all of my wonderfully supportive friends and family members, and to the people I don't even know who may have read this and prayed for me.  I can never repay you for the part you played in helping me get my life back!!!

No filter - Sorry if I offend you!

     First of all something is seriously wrong with my body.  I don't know what it is because I am not a doctor, but I know my body and I know it is not normal.  I went to my family doctor and she ran all the tests she could.  She recommended that I see my endocrinologist and have him run some specific tests.  I called him and told him that my family doctor wanted those tests run.  When I had my appointment with him this past Monday he told me that he had not run the main test my family doctor wanted me to have.  I kept telling him that I was having multiple symptoms and am not feeling well.  He simply decided to keep my meds the same and sent me on my way.  WHAT THE HECK!?!  So, I promplty did some research and found a new endocrinologist in Atlanta.  I have an appointment with this new doctor Friday.  I really hope that she can provide some answers.  I am so tired of having to feel like crap, tell my friends that I cannot do things with them because I don't feel well, and miss out on life.
      Now, on to my second gripe for today.  Because of all that is going on with my  meds not working properly my anti-depresant/anti-anxiety medicine is pretty much not working at all.  As I explained to my granny, this medicine is what I take to help me be able to be around other people without murdering them.  I have basically turned into my mother in law.  If I think it, I say it (no filter).  So, if you cross me over the next week or so until all gets straight I apologize but you can blame my old endocrinologist who didn't properly do his job!
      This brings me to the subject of friends.  Being sick like this lets you realize who your real friends are.  True friends will invite you to do things, and when you say "I'm sorry, but I am not feeling good.  I want to come, but I can't." they will understand and they will continue to invite you to do things and not treat you differently.  Being sick has led me to see that I had a few "friends" who were not true friends.  It makes me a little sad because I thought that they were good friends, but it also pisses me off because I would not have done that to them.  I really appreciate the many friends I have who have stuck by me and continue to invite me to things.  The friends who ask how I am doing.  The friends who ask if I need anything.  I have even made new friends through work who are going through this roller coaster illness with me.  They have be so supportive and kind and it truly means the world to me. 
      On that note, Thank you Donna, Nicole, Melissa, Jennifer, Lauren, Tarita for being such good friends and sticking by me.  I appreciate your concern, love, support and compassion, and I love you all!
      I never intended this blog to be about my stupid hashimoto's disease but for some stupid reason it has ended up being that way.  I hope and pray that I get well soon and I can start blogging about more important things like gossip, television, shopping, etc. :)